Decreasing my medication for depression is an action I won't be taking again anytime soon. I felt like I was wasting away. I felt distorted; raw; nothing. I felt frustrated; easily angered; short-tempered.
I didn't want to do anything. I did catch some of the World Cup matches on the tube. Disinterestedly surprised the U.S. beat England. Didn't care we lost to Ghana. Didn't want to get up but somehow kept going a little.
But now I feel human again. Not happy, but human. The medication has pulled me out of the crazy place.
And what emotion am I feeling? I'm now more than a little disappointed we lost to Ghana. But we have another chance at another World Cup. (Decreasing my meds is another story). I'm also feeling joy that I have such a loving family. They put up with much.
I am a Lutheran pastor recently diagnosed with clinical depression. This is an account of my soul's journey to healing.
What is a soul? You do not have a soul, rather you are a soul. You are a soul enfleshed with body, emotion, and mind. All of you is your soul.
The red heart with a black cross at the center should remind us that the righteous live by faith in the Crucified One. The heart rests in a white rose, to show that faith gives joy, comfort, and peace. The rose is white, not red, because white is the color of the heavenly spirits and angels. The white rose stands in a field of blue, the color of heaven, to show that joy in the spirit and in faith in this life is only the beginning of future heavenly joy. Surrounding the sky-blue field is a gold ring, to show that happiness and joy in heaven has no end, buts lasts forever, just as gold is the hightest, most noble and precious metal.