O My Soul:
I knew she was struggling with minor forms of depression. Then I knew it was getting worse and the medications were increased and then she was not responding well to any medication or other help.
Today I learn she has been on medical leave from work for the last several weeks and in a very special program at the hospital. This large and reputable hospital takes only three cases per month and my sister-in-law was accepted.
A major part of the treatment is electroshock therapy, plus a lot of other care. She is able to stay at home, but things are very hard for her and her family.
My brother-in-law is hopeful. He has seen improvements but it will be around Christmas before the doctors can determine to what extent she has benefited from the program.
I'm experiencing quite a few emotions since I received the news.
Partly, I feel sad. Such a bright, intelligent, and beautiful person simply racked with tremendous pain.
Partly, I feel scared. I fear that I may one day be overcome by the same thing. I'm more hopeful than I have been in the last few years. But, my fear is that the darkness will return with greater strength as the years and decades progress. I hope not but...
And partly I feel angry. I hate this crap.
I thankful for my psychologist, psychiatrist, pastor, and friends, but I remember where I've come from. I know the difference between a bad day and a disease ridden mind that cannot cope with most situations.
I'm most especially thankful that I have a Savior who was tempted in every way, even forsaken by His Father, but through it all did not despair. All that He did for me, my sister-in-law, and a great many others.
Thanks be to God.
Hope in Christ &
God bless you.
-oms