Friday, May 28, 2010

Things Learned from Childhood Depression

O My Soul:

I have mentioned a few things about my childhood here, here, and here which impacted this. So what of it. Can those soul shaping events be called good in any sense of the word good?

Here are a few things I have learned in hindsight:

1. There is nothing new under the sun. For as bad as domestic violence and abortion are, they are not an uncommon experiences. I know Christian parents who are violent, sometimes physically but more often verbally. I teach their children and I pain in there eyes. I've heard parents justify themselves in many and various ways. I've heard parents weep over children they aborted.

2. Mental illness is one kind of illness between being conceived in sin and death. Sin sickness is the root of both physical and mental illness. The kind of sickness we experience vary, but no one is spared. We all die.

3. Some sin is thrust upon us by others and some sin is my very own. I did hurt as a result of my parents physical and verbal sins. However, I eventually sinned against others.

4. Time does not heal sin but absolution does and that's OK. I am thankful to my pastors who have listened and opened my ears to again hear my Savior speak to me and deliver His gifts to me. The Office of the Keys is given to the church on earth to forgive the sins of the repentant and withhold forgiveness from the unrepentant. My pastors, over the years, have listened and absolved and that is O.K. (Office of the Keys)

5. The memory of sin is not forgotten. I live with the various crosses that God in His goodness has seen good to give me. I can always remember real sins that make me a lifetime member among sinners. I am also baptized and living the baptized life of being preached to, absolved, and communed as an antidote to my sin against the true God whom I've offended.

6. I am dependent on Christ. I may have a Dependent Personality Disorder, but it helps me rely on Christ, His gifts, and remain in His community to be cared for.

7. Mental and Physical illness is not Christian suffering. All people have that kind of suffering. Christian suffering is remaining in the faith. Faith is impossible but given as a gift. Christian suffering then is the struggle to respond to the sins of others in mercy (not punishing them the way they deserve) and grace (give them good gifts even though they don't deserve anything good, such as praying for them and serving them according to their needs). And even more importantly, receiving the grace and mercy of God the way He gives it even in the midst of my sins (Word and Sacrament).

So, these are a few lessons in hindsight.

Hope in Christ &
God bless you.


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