Friday, March 12, 2010

Heart of Darkness

O My Soul:

I feel it coming again.

There are times when the darkness rolls in like the setting of the sun. In times like that I feel like going to bed. At it's worst. I'll curl up and not do much. Politely, I say I'm going to take a nap. I took a nap Wednesday afternoon. I bounced back for the rest of the day.

But, their are times when I become the darkness as black as a moonless night. During these times, I have plenty of energy but embody an attitude of mean spiritedness. My being is filled with...well...piss and vinegar and I'm often itchin' for a fight. I haven't felt like that for quite awhile but I'm approaching it.

What will I do?

Psalm 42 is a good start:

As the deer pants for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? 3 My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, "Where is your God?" 4 When I remember these things, I pour out my soul within me. For I used to go with the multitude; I went with them to the house of God, With the voice of joy and praise, With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast. 5 Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance. 6 O my God, my soul is cast down within me; Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan, And from the heights of Hermon, From the Hill Mizar. 7 Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls; All Your waves and billows have gone over me. 8 The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, And in the night His song shall be with me -- A prayer to the God of my life. 9 I will say to God my Rock, "Why have You forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" 10 As with a breaking of my bones, My enemies reproach me, While they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" 11 Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

Amen and amen!


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